Diary of a self righteous.

There are those who just do the craziest things and you wonder when karma will catch up with them. Wura was one such girl. I met her in school and she showed me the wild side of life. I am still rather reserved based on the way I was brought up, but Wura, she was crazy and that is fundamentally an understatement. I always told her to slow down, she never really listened. She would say "Zinny, you are in a cage, let go and enjoy life". I never listened to her, I felt karma would catch up with her. I was waiting. Last month Wura put to bed, her 3rd child from her very wealthy husband who spoils her at every opportunity. They went to Seychelles for their honeymoon, he bought her a Porsche 911 after their first son and she had the second in Canada. They have traveled round the world and I am still here waiting for Karma to catch Wura. I am still single though and I know I will find my own husband very soon. I will be 37 in June but I really don't look my age at all. When karma catches up with Wura, I will be there, not to laugh in her face but to be a shoulder to support her. Anyways, Wura is lucky so far, lets see how far her luck will carry her.

3 modern signs of INSECURITY

So my dear, you are in a relationship. It's probably past the honeymoon phase and into the "let's make this a love story" phase. The hard part of every relationship is when REAL LIFE sets in on 2 of you. It's a good thing, it truly is. But most times, one persons insecurity ruins it. Here are just 3 signs to watch out for. It maybe you who exhibits them or worse, your partner.
1. Does he/she long to go through your phone. Pictures, mails and messages?
2. Does he/she frequently visits your social media pages to check who you "poked" or whose picture you "liked" or whose tweet you replied or retreated?
3. Does he/she use a hidden number or a strange voice to call you at random times.

Well, you can smile now cos these 3 signs are just all you need before you kick down the door, and storm into their room with fingers waving in the air and a stern look on your face, and confidently say, "you, my dear are insecure". Whilst you are at it be sure to make sure you are not the reason for the symptoms your partner is showing.
Show some love though and kiss them right after the accusation.

GAY & PROUD?

So the president signs the anti-gay bill into law. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Does it affect us as a people or is it a very irrelevant bill that has no bearing on the more pressing issues affecting the masses?

Maybe it does not affect us or improve the roads or the state of power supply, doesn’t make that bill irrelevant. Some things matter more now, you would say, but how does this law and many others affect us presently and maybe in the future.

I am not a political analyst but I think I know some facts.

• There is a gay population in the country. I know this for a fact

We as a people do not see homosexuality as a mental disorder but more of an abomination and anomaly that must not be encouraged.

Many people who will suffer the consequences of the law are the few poor people whom I doubt will ever come out openly and say they are gay.

The gay community in Europe and America has a lot of politicians and celebrities who pushed and kicked against what they called sexual discrimination. It worked for them, it didn’t work here though.

The bill, along with the Yerima issue of child marriage goes a long way in defining who we are as a nation. Or does it?

• Most people discriminate against homosexuals (especially the male aspect) because the bulk of the community is heterosexual and homosexuality goes against what a heterosexual society believes in.

Nigeria is a heterosexual society. A very heterosexual one.

The law kicks against homosexual marriage or open show of homosexuality in public or any homosexual act that becomes public knowledge. Be careful whom you go home with.

• It does not stop people from being homosexual, but at least it prohibits the act in the country. It is a crime and punishable under the law.

The law shows to a large extent that the majority of the law makers elected by the people of this country are not homosexual or inclined towards that sexuality,.... for now.

For the homosexual community they would remain trapped in the closet. Let us hope, for their  sake that no one opens that closet. Some will however go looking for that closet.

"Sending a homosexual person to prison should be enforced if a homosexual man should serve his 14 year term in a female prison and is forced to shower or bath (if they do that in Nigerian prisons) with the other female inmates. That could change his sexual orientation on the long run."

• Most Nigerians will not report a case of homosexuality to the police, neither will the culprit confess to such when accused of it so the case of evidence to show ones sexuality will have to be defined and practicalised in whatever way possible.  However the inhuman and degrading acts they would be subjected to when found out would be intolerable....and filmed with a mobile phone and put on the internet.

I can say that GEJ has balls for signing the bill despite the loads of pressure from US and Europe to quell the process of passing the bill to law. These people have legalized abortion and weed(we should legalize the latter too), and they intend for the rest of the world to follow suit even if it is wrong , just because they are world powers does not make them right or God.

We all are waiting for the first Nigerian celebrity or politician to openly say they are gay so we can start a long process of ‘what happens now’ and ‘let us see what will happen’. Maybe, Jonathan will no longer be president when this happens.

• Whoever decides to come out of the closet on their sexuality had better come out from a closet in US or any other country that allows for homosexuality.

If your closet is in Nigeria, it should also contain a third party, for the gay men, a lady and for the lesbians, well its easy , except you are an ugly lesbian, men will keep chyking you and you can easily say your lesbian friend is your ‘bestie’. Men don’t do besties like women do so the gay closet has to have a third party that is either sworn to secrecy or will never find out. Nigerian ladies will find out.

• As with heterosexual relationships that have not being brought to the alter or court room, a lot of discretion would still be advised.

One question though, When a homosexual who has served his term (or her term) of 14 years in prison, and they still remain homosexual, will they be sent back for another 14 years?

How to make a New Year resolution and stick to it for at least 300 days.

 

It is a New Year and it is only traditional that after the merriment and funfair that ushers in the New Year, we retreat for a few moments and take up the singular responsibility of making a resolution. This resolution could range from a single habit to an entire lifestyle modification. Whatever shape or form your New Year resolution may take, here are a few tips to help you meet your expectations.

1.        Set the bar reasonably high. Most people would want a total overnight make over. From regular to superhuman in a very short while. This may be possible but likely improbable for the majority of “resolutionist”. Whatever you might want to achieve with your resolution that has made you give 52weeks of the year to achieving is definitely not minced meat, so put a lot of thought into it and do not scare yourself with superhuman task that you would probably abandon by august

2.       It is 12 months and a lot of days. Time is on your side (except you are 80 and want to be an Olympic sprinter). Most things if not all are achievable when broken down into smaller simpler units so do the same to your resolutions and take each tiny bit and accomplish it within that period.

3.       Start. It’s as simple as that. Just get up and start, and do not stop till you notice an improvement.

4.       Do it today. Simply put, do not procrastinate. Today is a good day to get started and a good day to keep going.

5.       Records are important. This could work in 2 ways, it could show you how far you have come or it could show you how much is left. Either ways, a positive attitude would help you look at the challenges and strive to overcome. Get that positive attitude from anywhere you can and never let it go

6.       Take a break. Just do this sparingly so as not to stall or hinder the progress or gathering momentum but enough to prevent burnout which is a major setback.

7.       Reward yourself. Yes! Once you have accomplished a sizeable chunk of work reward yourself with a healthy dose of gratitude, try to avoid relapse also. However do not dwell on present success. Keep going

8.       Setbacks are a must. Hiccups and life will always interfere in your progress so expect it, prepare for it and equip yourself to survive. These setbacks will make the task harder but the reward even much sweeter.

9.       Have fun. Your resolution should not be a punishment, it should be a step or set of steps to becoming a better person. With that in mind, the process should be enjoyed as much as possible and not endured. Endurance gives room for relapse and you wouldn’t want to start over a process you endured next year, would you?

10.   Let go. A lot of things or people or situations would want to prevent you from making a resolution, let them go. A lot of excuses would come up along the way to slow you down, derail you, or send you in the wrong direction. Identify them and let them go. You don’t need anchors to slow your ship when it wishes to sail (except if your resolution is to stop sailing, then anchorage is allowed).

A resolution should not be a competition but it can make you more competitive. It’s you against yourself. You have nothing to prove to anybody but yourself (ok! Maybe your spouse).

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Strange and familiar things

That old familiar obsession,

Of things taken for granted

And stolen moments lost.

That strange familiarity,

Which time can never diffuse,

Nor absence, extinguish.

That familiar obsession ,

Of lust and desire ever burning

And passions never satisfied.

That familiar tune,

To which we all dance

Albeit, involuntarily

To the rhythm of love,

And this strange rhythm

Of muscular contractions

From the vision to the motion.

If love had a tune,

If music had a heart,

And we all opened ourselves

To listen to the words and rhythm,

To dance the shameless dance

And ignore rude loudness

Of condescending authority.

The samba and the strings

And gyrating hips,

And the undulating in the loins of virility,

In perfect harmony.

Like our hearts would unite.

That old familiar sound,

Never forgotten

Forever embraced

Always out of reach.

That new taste

Of fluids that arouse the senses

And only shared by two

Music, food and dance,

All in unison

As if all are one

Yet none is the other.

That present yearning,

Of a long lost hope

And a hope still smouldering,

In it, the yearning fuels itself.

It will happen one day

In a combustion of everything,

Perhaps too much for a single event,

Too heavy for a single heart

Or a million hearts thereof.

It will happen so fast

And after which nothing is left behind

But pure bliss.