REASON

We believe when there are facts
Hard concrete facts, to look upon and analyze
We believe, if it is rational, sound and just
We believe because if we don’t
We may suffer the consequences
We believe in reason

We believe what we can’t see
We believe in spirits and mystery
Where there is no rationality
‘It is too absurd, these superstitions’
We believe, because the promise…
Though irrational, is also just
We believe that reason is not always rational
Then we don’t believe in reason

Though reason may differ
We believe, because we are a believing people
And our hope is in our belief and not reason

REDEMPTION

There is a blood trail
The smell is in the air
The stalker patiently waits
The prey, unaware at the moment
But the silence sounds a warning
Everything is still, not calm
The tension is reaching a resounding crescendo
You can hear the whispers of the leaves
A fugitive he becomes
He is on the run from his own
The works of his hand speak tons for themselves
Who dealt the fatal blow?
Who sucked the final breath from his lungs?
Blood is on his hands
His own; …thicker than water, he was told
His betrayal, never to be forgiven
He remains marked
Judgment is passed
He pleads, but not to be freed is his plea
But to be given a chance to right his wrongs

VERSES FROM THE CLOSET PART 1

ON AND ON

I sojourn the earth
The experience and lessons, so many
My mind; I wish to be a sponge
Capturing all and leaving nothing out
My brain filters what I want, what I need
And I pray for wisdom to discern
The want from the need
For deep within, the yearnings are numerous and unguarded
Scattered, chaotic and at times barbaric
But I yearn still, to taste as much
To smell as much
To see as much
To feel as much
The sounds, noise and music alike
All to be consumed but not to be consumed by
I must elevate on each stride
Never to dwell on the present
No matter how pleasant it may be
The future, a never ending horizon
Accompanied by unending possibilities
And the risk that will come with each stride
Lessons of the past must teach
Experience and wisdom will guide
And the light to illuminate the path
It is a beautiful world out there
To be inspired from within the senses must be relied upon
And your soul you must bare
Then the voices become clear
And as a stream flows and the wind blows
The earth beckons
‘Come closer and my treasure be revealed’
I must search, on and on
Through the woods and deserts
My yearnings must be guarded
I reach the very end
I have enjoyed he ride
The Prize
A Trophy or just an illusion
Turn not my expectant heart into bitterness
And with a reward
BLESS ME.

WHO IS IN CHARGE?

Energy flows, that is a given and a constant. But the energy wasted is unanimously frowned at. So what is the conservation of energy if the outcome is a waste?
When energy is not directed in the proper place, the source is eventually drained and the expectations are unfulfilled.
The realization of this requires a change in frequency, source or channel.
The signals may be strong mixed or weak but the point is not the strength but awareness and control.
Awareness comes first, but that is the easy part. Control! Now that is the ‘big fish’.
Many times, control is not inherited; it is not in any genetic makeup of any individual. It is earned and the process is indeed rigorous.
Sometimes many it takes DECEPTION, but it actually requires humility and perseverance.
Foolish it may seem as the remake of the popular adage would now suggest, the patient dog eats the fattest bone … after the hustlers have eaten the meat off the bone, but the price for going through that fire make one stronger.
Control is judged by results and not intent and even when gained it is never final.
Absolute control, I believe lies in the hands of WISDOM.
The results are all that count when in control, not intent. Good intentions never produced food or got anyone paid.
Results, that is what we are judged by.
Intent is only for those who need excuses.
The time for excuses are over, so let some results be gotten, let action be taken no matter how little and how slow, let it be in motion and let those of good intentions only rake in the excuses…YOU BE THE JUDGE.

KNOWING ME KNOWING YOU!!!

How long does it take for a person to say ‘I know you’? I can not give a value as to the time in which the discovery of a persons personality should take because, frankly I don’t know. I wish I did but it hit me as usual that it is in did a very long way to discover the true face of a multifaceted entity called ‘MAN’. I will not look back in regret as much as I can or into the future in fear, even if the flickers of hope and embers of bravery continue to die out. I will rather look around in awareness and indeed within. I say to myself ‘I don’t know Mr. A or Ms. B’ but the truth is I don’t even know everything about myself. The days of fulfillment, I hope are near and on that day self discovery in its fullness may be all that is needed. I know some of me and I know that I am multifaceted, but to what extent… no idea. It may just take the whole of my lifetime if I am lucky to be here the whole time.
I wish I knew you, and all those I call friends in the real essence of knowing. I am not speaking in terms of predictability but in terms of understanding the reasons for actions and I sincerely doubt it.
Nowadays, words count for nothing, and lies are thickening with each bend or corner. I too have not been the most honest person in my dealings and unfortunately for me, I once upon a time predicted certain events in my life which have started manifesting. But what bothers me is not the fact that I can lie or you can lie but the fact that we use these lies to distance ourselves from people who feel they should know us. Misdirection as a weapon? Well who can you trust? I don’t want to go down that road of sincerity and trustworthiness but I know that everyone hopes for the day when they can trust a person other than themselves freely and not be disappointed.
Do I know you? I don’t think so.
Will I ever know you? I hope so
Do you feel I should trust you? Earn it
Should you trust me? Honestly, I wish I could answer that.
But whatever you decide or I decide to do with the little details that make up our lives, we can only do 2 things
1 hope
2 try
Maybe we shall be deserving of a trustworthy friend, maybe, one day we (that is me and of course you) shall become a trustworthy friend to some deserving or undeserving friend.
How high can you build the wall to shut out the rest of the world?

GOING....

These things happened and will continue to happen. The frailties of trust especially trust in man. I seek not to send a negative message, but in truth it is all around us. So much negative vibe, one could actually drown in it. It takes a lot of patience, which is a virtue and rare at that to tolerate the gimmicks as they are thrown your way on a daily. Now I sit and wonder ‘is this the real life?’, if it is, then it is disappointing. Silver and gold, I seek to accumulate and to that end a life or a name is lost, the source of pride like a balloon afloat and without a tether rope to hold gets blown away by the gentle wind. The truth may not come out in our life time but it will and the longer it stays down there the more powerful it will be. If my words are not enough for you then my actions should, but to what end if no matter what it does not count.
My country turns 50 in a number of days time and as young as she would like to appear, she is old and full of a lot of crap that need to be addressed but will never be, or at least not yet. The change needs to be radical, swift and unbiased, but until then we shall continue to go down.
GOING! GOING!!

VOYAGE... THE VALLEY AND BACK

JUST FOOLED!


How quickly was my heart ripped off my chest?
By my own hand indeed
The pain I felt, yet was clouded by the promise
The offering was made, but in a hurry

Was it the sweet scent of a rosy bed from which I just emerged?
My eyes, not accustomed to this new light
But my confidence was the source

I hardened my heart to the words of advice
All that glitters… All that glitters…
My heart won a battle it should have lost

What fool recognizes his folly? Till the very end!
Time, Energy, Resources all spent
For the lesson was well learnt

My heart still craves but the sooner I learn, the farther the grave
Fool me once… They said
I know, once is enough?
The same mistake? Never to me

I emerge from the flames like a PHOENIX
My song and my tears

Stronger is my will
This feeling is my new second nature
The pain of the past shall guide me through future travails
My heart now barely beats
And the numbness I feel will take a while

It will beat again, and again
And with each beat, I shall bleed myself
Never to be, thus fooled
My HEART I will GUARD


FROZEN

It warmed my heart each time I saw you and it was a longing yet to be satisfied
I stood in awe as you blossomed before my eyes, my heart bled freely and willingly
The offering was to be made, I had no objection, I was the lamb, willing and able

The price, foolish though it sounded, but, yes! It was love again

But my heart was jolted, not by rejection or betrayal
Hell had frozen over and so was my heart
Had I lost it? That ability to love?
Maybe it was just you, but then again, it was just you

My heart froze and my eyes darkened, for a love lost is never found
It was cold all along, it was just my warmth… but for how long

FOUND AND LOST.

I found it and for years I cherished it, LOVE? You may ask, but no. it was more than love. We were more than friends and I, being the pessimist I was, filled my mind with thoughts of its end. Friends for life? Yes, that’s what we became, but we both knew we wanted more, more from ourselves and more to give. It was, for the first time in a long while that I had myself free from my own inhibitions. 30 years have gone by now and I still see that my life would have been much more fun, plus with a lot of achievements. Now, death stares me in the face and I feel like I would only have one final wish denied, I know I can’t have this wish but it is as selfless as it is selfish. Just a hand to hold or those eyes to stare into even if it is for the last time, my eternity may as well begin with the feeling still on my skin.
We started out nothing special, no expectations just in it for the ride and what a ride it turned out to be. For a period in my life, the “I” was lost. All there was was the “US”, the “WE”, and I was tempted to believe that it was going to last for a very long time, even a lifetime. Was I wrong? Yes! I was so, so wrong. We were very clear about our feelings for each other but that negative energy, oh! That negative energy! It crept in, maybe just from word of mouth or from those horrible dreams I don’t know but it found its way in and what it has destroyed, I can not quantify. I loved her like no love has ever described and I was not afraid not to be loved back in return but she did! She loved me even more than I could accept. She loved my flaws and faults as much as she loved my perfections, she loved my entirety, the entity I was and the entity I would be, she love my past and my future, with her in it or not. And I loved her but I could not bring myself to accept that love like this could exist. It was just too much for the earth. Too positive and I feared near impossible. Don’t get me wrong I never doubted our love, what I did doubt was it blooming into the flower that everyone would come to admire and take a leaf from. So instead of nourishing this love with care, I fed it with negativity. I have but myself to blame, not only for this loneliness I feel but for what she feels. And if my wish she were to turn down, even at my deathbed, I would understand and still love her nevertheless.We were not the perfect couple or the envy of the town, no! We were just good for each other but you always hope that there could be a possibility of something better. It never happened; there was no one better, there was no other, none before and none after. I could cry now but what use would it be. I had it, I lost it and I have no one but myself to blame.

THE SAGA... IN AN IMAGINARUIM!!

MY WORDS...MY SWORD

I try to detach my self from the character I create
He is lifeless at that and I know everything is around him
Objectivity I crave so that I do not lose myself to the portrait I paint
In my mind it is highly defined

But the ARTIST must immerse himself so deep in his work
He can never be objective
His work is a reflection
His soul is somewhere within
And still out there for all to see

I can not fight a battle without spilling BLOOD
The enemy must see and feel my fury
I can not be objective
The pages are my battlefield
And my words are my weapon

They may be used against me
But its intent is to fight for me
In this battle, I fear not
For every eye, a new battle begins

VICTORY is all but short-lived
The battle stories rage on
From the little ones, through sand and time
My words, my work will be a new weapon
A sword, sharper than those before and those to come

I can not detach myself from the characters I create
I am in there somewhere
I am the breathe of life in all of them
I have but lost a part of my soul to this portrait

THE CHRONICLES II

I saw you and at that moment I loved YOU.
I saw that you also had an interest towards me but I cursed myself for not letting my interest known.
We became friends.
I wanted more
You wanted more.
I was A COWARD in love.
I did not let my feelings for you show.
I pushed you and that resistance was what I still regret.
We walked around with a big banner over our heads
JUST FRIENDS.
Then he came along, and you loved him as you would have loved me.
Even then, I could still see the passion in your eyes… FOR ME.
Mine was hidden, past experience or could it be fear?
I was afraid of letting you know or letting you go.
I was afraid of rejection and the possibility of a broken heart.
And so, I allowed the MAN come in.
I locked myself out.
But even now, I know I LOVE YOU, AND YOU- ME.
Was it meant to be?
We’ll never know