This is not a picture of a fair maiden in distress and the grandeur and bravado of her knight in shining armour. No! this is quite the opposite, of a man, a chaotic and destructive case of not really caring about anything. A man who lived in the shadows for fear of failing and never got up for fear of falling. A man surrounded by promise and stood on potentials yet some how managed to turn the ambience of Eden to the cacophony of an Armageddon. Destruction loomed heavily like a rain cloud in the spring and the sound of thunder and flashes of lightening seemed to hold no more fury than the already ravaging sea and quaking mother earth.
The defeat before the war even began, a shameless surrender was his first hand and indeed his only hand, he had slumped to his dying bed waiting for his own very breath to cease and the blood in his veins to turn cold. A corpse already in his mind, he had many a time pictured his own death and by this time he was accustomed to the smell of his decaying flesh. The stench of his vomit and feaces still strong in the air as his senses were dulled by the ever increasing density of ammonia in the air, indeed he was a living-dead.
The fresh breeze on the horizon held no promise for him and the hope of a last stand or a grand stand or any stand at all was a lost memory. He waited.
She, yes there had to be a she in this story. This ‘she’ had had enough of lies and deception. She was through with letting herself be the victim and she had every right to feel and act that way. She had always wanted more from life and was willing to give more, sometimes more than was required of her and what did she get in return? She had dried up her fountain of tears and her heart had frozen over with stone cold bitterness and red hot fury. Never again would she fall prey to lies, the same lies that had scared her severely and severally. The evidence was visible and the marks proof of the hardship she had experienced all because she wanted to live her life and do so to the fullest. She was no fool, at least not anymore and the words uttered from her mouth, a testament to the feelings her heart tried to conceal.
It is only fitting to say that one finds redemption at the least likely of places and the feeling of salvation, like a breath of fresh air to the suffocating. They found it and kicked against each other and against the wave of emotions running through their veins. It did not happen all at first sight as a lot of stories would tell it and it did not happen because it was duty, a nurse to a dying man. No! it was neither, but when the hand of fate dragged them to the same path, the will power which they had consciously built and fortified over decades with blocks and bricks of hatred and bitterness, callousness and irresponsibility, fell apart just as they looked away from each other.
Now, even when the inevitable end draws nearer and the cold hand of death grips firmly, the smile that lingers on their faces even as it is moistened with tears, their tears, you know that the power which has drawn these resolute souls out of their individual abyss must have a celestial dimension and the time spent, no matter how brief it was, was indeed worth a life time. The heavens cried that day too as the rain clouds poured forth her content with reckless abandon and the seas, likewise roared the covenant shared by these two. The covenant of love so deep that the pain of a hot piercing blade was no pain compared to the cry of a loved one.
No more pain, no more destruction.
All is well, all is beautiful.
All IS
Thursday, July 14, 2011
unorthordox apology
The complexity of a single individual very many deny but it lies within the confines of nomenclature. The duality or even multiplicity of the one person makes it difficult to completely harness more or less control and with the ever growing rave of ‘the illuminati’ and the ‘new world order’, the chaos is indeed frightening bothering close and rather to close to dementia and a major psychotic case yet to be clinically studied.
I have my own complexities which I battle with because I sincerely believe in simplicity. The clarity of a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ paints a clearer picture than a still life photograph. Only if actions could be more blatant and direct and still at the same time reflect the true intentions of the ever evolving and developing mind.
All these jargon, I leave for the psycho analyst to try and make sense of, but for you the regular (no offence) human, I will try to communicate in a more basic manner.
Mistakes! The bane of our education and the mother of many an excuse such as incompetence and misunderstanding. Yes misunderstandings which we do not fore see and the consequences which envelope us and make us look a lot dumber than we actually are or than we want to be seen.
I will like to apologize fervently to you for the hardship you must be going through right now trying to figure out what this is all about but I tell you my absence has been for a reason not to sound but a reason all the same and the loves lost and found (and some lost again) during this period have created a turmoil which time is actually finding difficult to settle.
In simple words, the mind is bubbling over with emotions from the long absence and a little (or maybe more) time is needed to gather some direction.
At last, a man is coming of age and taking responsibility for actions becomes a duty along with fending for himself and those he holds dear. Forget the battle for self preservation because this is a rather content man, (or so he would like you to believe), the only battle is the battle for survival and territory and the acquisition of new frontiers now, a hobby for the already existing elite must be a target attainable by careful and detailed planning. A problem arises, he is no planner or one to fret about details, he loves results though so the means is no problem to him and here lies the problem as this man still has a really active conscience and the only thing he cherishes more than love is the peace of mind he gets when his conscience finds no fault in his dealings with other terrestrials (and sometimes extra-terrestrials).
He craves success more than happiness sometimes because in success he finds happiness, even if only momentarily. He has a weakness as all other great men before him and his mortality threatens to undermine the invisibility he has garnered over time. His fears take a new shape and start dictating for his mind, he needs a new motivation and a source of inspiration. He, like a weathered petal is on the brink of falling to the dust and facing the wrath of oblivion. He smiles and looks upon his one and only true love and realizes what his whole existence has been about. If this does not happen, if the great fall does not occur, his story will be told to little ones as a fable or a fairy tale, his is what legend is made of and the tale, as such, be told. That is the success he craves and that is the fall that precedes it. Not calculated but spontaneous
He is a man…. A man on the move. A man in search, in search of the strongest gift.
If he finds it, only time will tell but the nature within him must be conquered and the energy from within must flow.
I am deeply sorry for my nature and I regret not warning you.
I hope you find what you are looking for, I don’t have it with me.
I did not set out to hurt you, but hurting you became inevitable.
Your nature and mine hold equal responsibility, but my actions deserve and take full blame.
I have my own complexities which I battle with because I sincerely believe in simplicity. The clarity of a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ paints a clearer picture than a still life photograph. Only if actions could be more blatant and direct and still at the same time reflect the true intentions of the ever evolving and developing mind.
All these jargon, I leave for the psycho analyst to try and make sense of, but for you the regular (no offence) human, I will try to communicate in a more basic manner.
Mistakes! The bane of our education and the mother of many an excuse such as incompetence and misunderstanding. Yes misunderstandings which we do not fore see and the consequences which envelope us and make us look a lot dumber than we actually are or than we want to be seen.
I will like to apologize fervently to you for the hardship you must be going through right now trying to figure out what this is all about but I tell you my absence has been for a reason not to sound but a reason all the same and the loves lost and found (and some lost again) during this period have created a turmoil which time is actually finding difficult to settle.
In simple words, the mind is bubbling over with emotions from the long absence and a little (or maybe more) time is needed to gather some direction.
At last, a man is coming of age and taking responsibility for actions becomes a duty along with fending for himself and those he holds dear. Forget the battle for self preservation because this is a rather content man, (or so he would like you to believe), the only battle is the battle for survival and territory and the acquisition of new frontiers now, a hobby for the already existing elite must be a target attainable by careful and detailed planning. A problem arises, he is no planner or one to fret about details, he loves results though so the means is no problem to him and here lies the problem as this man still has a really active conscience and the only thing he cherishes more than love is the peace of mind he gets when his conscience finds no fault in his dealings with other terrestrials (and sometimes extra-terrestrials).
He craves success more than happiness sometimes because in success he finds happiness, even if only momentarily. He has a weakness as all other great men before him and his mortality threatens to undermine the invisibility he has garnered over time. His fears take a new shape and start dictating for his mind, he needs a new motivation and a source of inspiration. He, like a weathered petal is on the brink of falling to the dust and facing the wrath of oblivion. He smiles and looks upon his one and only true love and realizes what his whole existence has been about. If this does not happen, if the great fall does not occur, his story will be told to little ones as a fable or a fairy tale, his is what legend is made of and the tale, as such, be told. That is the success he craves and that is the fall that precedes it. Not calculated but spontaneous
He is a man…. A man on the move. A man in search, in search of the strongest gift.
If he finds it, only time will tell but the nature within him must be conquered and the energy from within must flow.
I am deeply sorry for my nature and I regret not warning you.
I hope you find what you are looking for, I don’t have it with me.
I did not set out to hurt you, but hurting you became inevitable.
Your nature and mine hold equal responsibility, but my actions deserve and take full blame.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
THE BLANK LETTER
I thought honesty was the best policy. Then I was told I talked too much. Now I have decided not to say anything. But I can’t live like that. I feel I may explode anytime if I don’t let it out. It is a chronic desire to let my mind wander into yours. I am not thinking at the moment, just doing. I may not want to be held accountable for what I have done in the void of my mind. I am as a baby born but I have secrets that I am about to reveal to you. If you look closely you would see what it all means, or what it is supposed to mean. If it means nothing to you doesn’t mean you are dumb. It may just be that we are not on the same frequency or wavelength. If you do get a message or meaning from it, then we may be alike in more than one way. Which is not such a bad thing considering the fact that you are beginning to find yourself in other people. People you may have never met or will ever meet except for the works they have done and stories you hear about them. So now that we have started trying hard not to be ourselves and the green on the other side makes our grass look yellow, we have accepted that we have to become better or more like someone else. We take the job of been a mirror, just reflecting other people and hoping that it is only the beautiful that make their way towards us. The reality is that as long as we remain mirrors, we will encounter some rather unpleasant images which we must, as a law of nature and must be obeyed. Some will not like the image they see and it is no fault of the mirror (you), but they still take it out on the mirror and at times leave it broken. The mirror is broken and sometimes it is beyond repair and no sane person, good looking or otherwise will want to approach such a mirror which is even more devastating. That is the fate of the mirror. Fragile, and broken. That is not the end of the story, a weapon is now born, and that is in the hands of the wrong person. The mirror has become a polyvalent entity and all because of the void. The mirror tells no lies and that is the end of it. The reward for its honesty.
Maybe honesty is the best policy, maybe we should say the truth at all times and let the truth do the job of setting us free. The price maybe steep, but the truth I know is bitter and it is that many people can not look into the mirror and stand their own reflection. And if the truth will bring about more destruction than bridge building in our own life time and the likely hood of it making things any better in the future is slim. Should we take that chance? Maybe.
I will only say what I know is true, but I will say it, first to myself, then The Truth will shine forth from within. So they will say I did not say it but I lived it…..
Maybe honesty is the best policy, maybe we should say the truth at all times and let the truth do the job of setting us free. The price maybe steep, but the truth I know is bitter and it is that many people can not look into the mirror and stand their own reflection. And if the truth will bring about more destruction than bridge building in our own life time and the likely hood of it making things any better in the future is slim. Should we take that chance? Maybe.
I will only say what I know is true, but I will say it, first to myself, then The Truth will shine forth from within. So they will say I did not say it but I lived it…..
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
CONFESSIONS
I will not bore you with an introduction to wet your appetite. No! I will neither sugar coat my words to make them sound better or make me look good. I will not say anything aside from the truth and I will in the words of the greatest man that ever lived ask ‘he who is without sin, cast the first stone.
I do not want to go to my grave with all these things in my mind. Not that it is killing me but of what use is it if I thought it out but never said or acted on it. These are my confessions.
I lied to you on many occasions and it was not because I had anything to hide but just to create an event or sometimes to get caught and apologize. There were also the true lies, those that had to be told and I told them with the skill of an innocent man. In my face you seemed to believe them and I was content. It was for the best for us and I do not regret those lies. I have come to realize my imperfections as part of myself, but the fact that I do not and did not go in search of yours made me look more flawed than you. I did not search, not because of lack of interest but because I wanted you the way you were and now I wish I could say are.
Talking about lies, on many occasions I thought you lied to me, I never pressed further for evidence or proof to confirm my fears, I just lived with them and acted a fool. Sometimes I watched in jealousy and other times I just mocked at how foolish you thought me to be, but I still stayed there by your side. I could not rationalize my actions and on many occasions I would summon the courage to lie to myself, but futile was the efforts as your actions kept me awake all night, thinking, thinking of what I had done, what I could do and what I should have done. Those thoughts were my consolation on the nights I was home alone.
The truth was that I always had you on my mind and could not help myself from thinking about you. I was suffocating on the thought of you and your presence because you were always there and for I while I thought I could not live without you. I never complained because I never trusted myself to portray my feelings in the way they were felt and I loved it when you wanted some harsh words from me. Was I scared? Maybe! But the truth still is that I had no harsh words for you, to me you were perfect
The words that never came out of my mouth were those that would have brought you pain and I decided that none of such words would come out from my mouth. Many times I strayed and it was no fault of yours or those of my accomplices. I put myself into the occasions and put up minimal resistance on my part. You may say those were the moments of my weakness but I had many moments of weakness and for that I apologize. I hope you do not judge me by those actions because in truth there were many more occasions when I did resist and the thought in my head was how proud you would be of me if only you knew. And those times you told me of your own shortcomings I already knew about, I loved you the more because your telling me made me see how much we fitted into each others world. I hated you only for a second but make no mistake about it, it was no guilt that made me love you and it was not pity. I lied to myself that I did not care anymore but who was I kidding?
When we were apart for whatever reason, I played those mind games of not keeping in touch to see if I meant as much to you as you did to me, and lame as it might seem and foolish as I might look now, it made me stronger for the inevitable parting, but before then it gave me the confidence to do to and for you what I would not do for any other person.
Okay! I remember when I destroyed your work. It was in a bid to get back into your life. I knew and still know the power of ‘I’m sorry’ and I knew if you cared for us at all it would work. It was selfish of me and I apologize.
And on those days you wanted to see me and I made myself unavailable, it was very selfish of me knowing that you would leave any other program that had little impact on your career to be with me. I missed those days and I know I can not have it back but letting it out is as much consolation only if it would bring you back.
These are the words I wanted to say to you everyday but could not.
I LOVE YOU
And on this fifth year of your passing away, I know you are in heaven and you know that I will never love anyone as I have loved you.
Have no shame in telling the one you love how much you feel and care about them when they still breath
IN THE SEASON OF LOVE...SHOW LOVE TO THOSE YOU LOVE
I do not want to go to my grave with all these things in my mind. Not that it is killing me but of what use is it if I thought it out but never said or acted on it. These are my confessions.
I lied to you on many occasions and it was not because I had anything to hide but just to create an event or sometimes to get caught and apologize. There were also the true lies, those that had to be told and I told them with the skill of an innocent man. In my face you seemed to believe them and I was content. It was for the best for us and I do not regret those lies. I have come to realize my imperfections as part of myself, but the fact that I do not and did not go in search of yours made me look more flawed than you. I did not search, not because of lack of interest but because I wanted you the way you were and now I wish I could say are.
Talking about lies, on many occasions I thought you lied to me, I never pressed further for evidence or proof to confirm my fears, I just lived with them and acted a fool. Sometimes I watched in jealousy and other times I just mocked at how foolish you thought me to be, but I still stayed there by your side. I could not rationalize my actions and on many occasions I would summon the courage to lie to myself, but futile was the efforts as your actions kept me awake all night, thinking, thinking of what I had done, what I could do and what I should have done. Those thoughts were my consolation on the nights I was home alone.
The truth was that I always had you on my mind and could not help myself from thinking about you. I was suffocating on the thought of you and your presence because you were always there and for I while I thought I could not live without you. I never complained because I never trusted myself to portray my feelings in the way they were felt and I loved it when you wanted some harsh words from me. Was I scared? Maybe! But the truth still is that I had no harsh words for you, to me you were perfect
The words that never came out of my mouth were those that would have brought you pain and I decided that none of such words would come out from my mouth. Many times I strayed and it was no fault of yours or those of my accomplices. I put myself into the occasions and put up minimal resistance on my part. You may say those were the moments of my weakness but I had many moments of weakness and for that I apologize. I hope you do not judge me by those actions because in truth there were many more occasions when I did resist and the thought in my head was how proud you would be of me if only you knew. And those times you told me of your own shortcomings I already knew about, I loved you the more because your telling me made me see how much we fitted into each others world. I hated you only for a second but make no mistake about it, it was no guilt that made me love you and it was not pity. I lied to myself that I did not care anymore but who was I kidding?
When we were apart for whatever reason, I played those mind games of not keeping in touch to see if I meant as much to you as you did to me, and lame as it might seem and foolish as I might look now, it made me stronger for the inevitable parting, but before then it gave me the confidence to do to and for you what I would not do for any other person.
Okay! I remember when I destroyed your work. It was in a bid to get back into your life. I knew and still know the power of ‘I’m sorry’ and I knew if you cared for us at all it would work. It was selfish of me and I apologize.
And on those days you wanted to see me and I made myself unavailable, it was very selfish of me knowing that you would leave any other program that had little impact on your career to be with me. I missed those days and I know I can not have it back but letting it out is as much consolation only if it would bring you back.
These are the words I wanted to say to you everyday but could not.
I LOVE YOU
And on this fifth year of your passing away, I know you are in heaven and you know that I will never love anyone as I have loved you.
Have no shame in telling the one you love how much you feel and care about them when they still breath
IN THE SEASON OF LOVE...SHOW LOVE TO THOSE YOU LOVE
Saturday, November 20, 2010
REFLECTION
Can you see me?
Not the image but the substance
Can you tell me who I am?
Not the character portrayed but the role played
I can not see myself
The reflection is clear and the resemblance, striking
But is that who I am?
It goes beyond the surface
And believe me, I have dug very deep
There seems to be no end to the depth of my soul excavation
I evacuate my spirit
I bare my mind
Still I know! There must be something more
How long will I search within?
How long will it take for me to find me?
Can you see me?
Can you tell me who I am?
Not the image but the substance
Can you tell me who I am?
Not the character portrayed but the role played
I can not see myself
The reflection is clear and the resemblance, striking
But is that who I am?
It goes beyond the surface
And believe me, I have dug very deep
There seems to be no end to the depth of my soul excavation
I evacuate my spirit
I bare my mind
Still I know! There must be something more
How long will I search within?
How long will it take for me to find me?
Can you see me?
Can you tell me who I am?
REASON
We believe when there are facts
Hard concrete facts, to look upon and analyze
We believe, if it is rational, sound and just
We believe because if we don’t
We may suffer the consequences
We believe in reason
We believe what we can’t see
We believe in spirits and mystery
Where there is no rationality
‘It is too absurd, these superstitions’
We believe, because the promise…
Though irrational, is also just
We believe that reason is not always rational
Then we don’t believe in reason
Though reason may differ
We believe, because we are a believing people
And our hope is in our belief and not reason
Hard concrete facts, to look upon and analyze
We believe, if it is rational, sound and just
We believe because if we don’t
We may suffer the consequences
We believe in reason
We believe what we can’t see
We believe in spirits and mystery
Where there is no rationality
‘It is too absurd, these superstitions’
We believe, because the promise…
Though irrational, is also just
We believe that reason is not always rational
Then we don’t believe in reason
Though reason may differ
We believe, because we are a believing people
And our hope is in our belief and not reason
Sunday, October 31, 2010
REDEMPTION
There is a blood trail
The smell is in the air
The stalker patiently waits
The prey, unaware at the moment
But the silence sounds a warning
Everything is still, not calm
The tension is reaching a resounding crescendo
You can hear the whispers of the leaves
A fugitive he becomes
He is on the run from his own
The works of his hand speak tons for themselves
Who dealt the fatal blow?
Who sucked the final breath from his lungs?
Blood is on his hands
His own; …thicker than water, he was told
His betrayal, never to be forgiven
He remains marked
Judgment is passed
He pleads, but not to be freed is his plea
But to be given a chance to right his wrongs
The smell is in the air
The stalker patiently waits
The prey, unaware at the moment
But the silence sounds a warning
Everything is still, not calm
The tension is reaching a resounding crescendo
You can hear the whispers of the leaves
A fugitive he becomes
He is on the run from his own
The works of his hand speak tons for themselves
Who dealt the fatal blow?
Who sucked the final breath from his lungs?
Blood is on his hands
His own; …thicker than water, he was told
His betrayal, never to be forgiven
He remains marked
Judgment is passed
He pleads, but not to be freed is his plea
But to be given a chance to right his wrongs
VERSES FROM THE CLOSET PART 1
ON AND ON
I sojourn the earth
The experience and lessons, so many
My mind; I wish to be a sponge
Capturing all and leaving nothing out
My brain filters what I want, what I need
And I pray for wisdom to discern
The want from the need
For deep within, the yearnings are numerous and unguarded
Scattered, chaotic and at times barbaric
But I yearn still, to taste as much
To smell as much
To see as much
To feel as much
The sounds, noise and music alike
All to be consumed but not to be consumed by
I must elevate on each stride
Never to dwell on the present
No matter how pleasant it may be
The future, a never ending horizon
Accompanied by unending possibilities
And the risk that will come with each stride
Lessons of the past must teach
Experience and wisdom will guide
And the light to illuminate the path
It is a beautiful world out there
To be inspired from within the senses must be relied upon
And your soul you must bare
Then the voices become clear
And as a stream flows and the wind blows
The earth beckons
‘Come closer and my treasure be revealed’
I must search, on and on
Through the woods and deserts
My yearnings must be guarded
I reach the very end
I have enjoyed he ride
The Prize
A Trophy or just an illusion
Turn not my expectant heart into bitterness
And with a reward
BLESS ME.
I sojourn the earth
The experience and lessons, so many
My mind; I wish to be a sponge
Capturing all and leaving nothing out
My brain filters what I want, what I need
And I pray for wisdom to discern
The want from the need
For deep within, the yearnings are numerous and unguarded
Scattered, chaotic and at times barbaric
But I yearn still, to taste as much
To smell as much
To see as much
To feel as much
The sounds, noise and music alike
All to be consumed but not to be consumed by
I must elevate on each stride
Never to dwell on the present
No matter how pleasant it may be
The future, a never ending horizon
Accompanied by unending possibilities
And the risk that will come with each stride
Lessons of the past must teach
Experience and wisdom will guide
And the light to illuminate the path
It is a beautiful world out there
To be inspired from within the senses must be relied upon
And your soul you must bare
Then the voices become clear
And as a stream flows and the wind blows
The earth beckons
‘Come closer and my treasure be revealed’
I must search, on and on
Through the woods and deserts
My yearnings must be guarded
I reach the very end
I have enjoyed he ride
The Prize
A Trophy or just an illusion
Turn not my expectant heart into bitterness
And with a reward
BLESS ME.
Monday, October 11, 2010
WHO IS IN CHARGE?
Energy flows, that is a given and a constant. But the energy wasted is unanimously frowned at. So what is the conservation of energy if the outcome is a waste?
When energy is not directed in the proper place, the source is eventually drained and the expectations are unfulfilled.
The realization of this requires a change in frequency, source or channel.
The signals may be strong mixed or weak but the point is not the strength but awareness and control.
Awareness comes first, but that is the easy part. Control! Now that is the ‘big fish’.
Many times, control is not inherited; it is not in any genetic makeup of any individual. It is earned and the process is indeed rigorous.
Sometimes many it takes DECEPTION, but it actually requires humility and perseverance.
Foolish it may seem as the remake of the popular adage would now suggest, the patient dog eats the fattest bone … after the hustlers have eaten the meat off the bone, but the price for going through that fire make one stronger.
Control is judged by results and not intent and even when gained it is never final.
Absolute control, I believe lies in the hands of WISDOM.
The results are all that count when in control, not intent. Good intentions never produced food or got anyone paid.
Results, that is what we are judged by.
Intent is only for those who need excuses.
The time for excuses are over, so let some results be gotten, let action be taken no matter how little and how slow, let it be in motion and let those of good intentions only rake in the excuses…YOU BE THE JUDGE.
When energy is not directed in the proper place, the source is eventually drained and the expectations are unfulfilled.
The realization of this requires a change in frequency, source or channel.
The signals may be strong mixed or weak but the point is not the strength but awareness and control.
Awareness comes first, but that is the easy part. Control! Now that is the ‘big fish’.
Many times, control is not inherited; it is not in any genetic makeup of any individual. It is earned and the process is indeed rigorous.
Sometimes many it takes DECEPTION, but it actually requires humility and perseverance.
Foolish it may seem as the remake of the popular adage would now suggest, the patient dog eats the fattest bone … after the hustlers have eaten the meat off the bone, but the price for going through that fire make one stronger.
Control is judged by results and not intent and even when gained it is never final.
Absolute control, I believe lies in the hands of WISDOM.
The results are all that count when in control, not intent. Good intentions never produced food or got anyone paid.
Results, that is what we are judged by.
Intent is only for those who need excuses.
The time for excuses are over, so let some results be gotten, let action be taken no matter how little and how slow, let it be in motion and let those of good intentions only rake in the excuses…YOU BE THE JUDGE.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
KNOWING ME KNOWING YOU!!!
How long does it take for a person to say ‘I know you’? I can not give a value as to the time in which the discovery of a persons personality should take because, frankly I don’t know. I wish I did but it hit me as usual that it is in did a very long way to discover the true face of a multifaceted entity called ‘MAN’. I will not look back in regret as much as I can or into the future in fear, even if the flickers of hope and embers of bravery continue to die out. I will rather look around in awareness and indeed within. I say to myself ‘I don’t know Mr. A or Ms. B’ but the truth is I don’t even know everything about myself. The days of fulfillment, I hope are near and on that day self discovery in its fullness may be all that is needed. I know some of me and I know that I am multifaceted, but to what extent… no idea. It may just take the whole of my lifetime if I am lucky to be here the whole time.
I wish I knew you, and all those I call friends in the real essence of knowing. I am not speaking in terms of predictability but in terms of understanding the reasons for actions and I sincerely doubt it.
Nowadays, words count for nothing, and lies are thickening with each bend or corner. I too have not been the most honest person in my dealings and unfortunately for me, I once upon a time predicted certain events in my life which have started manifesting. But what bothers me is not the fact that I can lie or you can lie but the fact that we use these lies to distance ourselves from people who feel they should know us. Misdirection as a weapon? Well who can you trust? I don’t want to go down that road of sincerity and trustworthiness but I know that everyone hopes for the day when they can trust a person other than themselves freely and not be disappointed.
Do I know you? I don’t think so.
Will I ever know you? I hope so
Do you feel I should trust you? Earn it
Should you trust me? Honestly, I wish I could answer that.
But whatever you decide or I decide to do with the little details that make up our lives, we can only do 2 things
1 hope
2 try
Maybe we shall be deserving of a trustworthy friend, maybe, one day we (that is me and of course you) shall become a trustworthy friend to some deserving or undeserving friend.
How high can you build the wall to shut out the rest of the world?
I wish I knew you, and all those I call friends in the real essence of knowing. I am not speaking in terms of predictability but in terms of understanding the reasons for actions and I sincerely doubt it.
Nowadays, words count for nothing, and lies are thickening with each bend or corner. I too have not been the most honest person in my dealings and unfortunately for me, I once upon a time predicted certain events in my life which have started manifesting. But what bothers me is not the fact that I can lie or you can lie but the fact that we use these lies to distance ourselves from people who feel they should know us. Misdirection as a weapon? Well who can you trust? I don’t want to go down that road of sincerity and trustworthiness but I know that everyone hopes for the day when they can trust a person other than themselves freely and not be disappointed.
Do I know you? I don’t think so.
Will I ever know you? I hope so
Do you feel I should trust you? Earn it
Should you trust me? Honestly, I wish I could answer that.
But whatever you decide or I decide to do with the little details that make up our lives, we can only do 2 things
1 hope
2 try
Maybe we shall be deserving of a trustworthy friend, maybe, one day we (that is me and of course you) shall become a trustworthy friend to some deserving or undeserving friend.
How high can you build the wall to shut out the rest of the world?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
check this out
we can!