HOW TO MAKE IT WORK WITH ANY WOMAN

Understanding women is a mystery. Men don’t understand women and women don’t understand women. It is simple like that and for the simple minded (like me) who love to have things in black and white and very few grey areas, women are a touchy subject. I have been around a lot of women but not enough to understand them fully and that is when it hit me (for the 100th time) , “women cannot be completely understood”. That is a sad fact and that may seem like a brick wall, but we love women, men and women love women and it is as simple and complicated as that, “we can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
Living with them however is the easier of the 2 options when you consider the following points, understand and applying them and appreciating the outcome, it no longer seems like a task.
So if you are a lady and want to get along with other ladies or a particular lady, or you are a guy with similar interest in ladies, please take note.

1. Women love to talk, so just listen. Listen to everything, what she says, what she means, what she implies, what she didn’t say and what she hasn’t said,. If you listen well enough you will hear her every time

2. Space is important. She will push you away sometimes and the next minute cries cos you are distant. Men can tolerate the space infringement, most women cannot. Give her her own version of space.

3. The swings are the beauty of her. Her mood will swing and thus the lord God made it so and it was beautiful. If the swings are not there, then the lady you seek is not there. She should not be always angry with you or always happy with you, it’s the way coffee is, the best of both.

4. Her sexuality is as important as her personality. Do not undermine any, understand that for a woman, her personality is swiftly tied to her sexuality and that is the making of “society” .understand that and you should be able to sleep easy

5. When in doubt, do the right thing and ASK. She would rather you asked than you assume. A surprise would be tempting and pleasant when pulled off but in other cases just man up and ask.

6. That sweetness can turn to gall. Women are 2 sides, the extremely sweet and the extremely bitter and if you assume that the sweet doesn’t have a bitter side, you do so at your own risk. Do not break a fragile ornament cos it can quickly be turned into a dangerous weapon.

7. Consistency. Be a complete douche bag and she could love you, be a complete gentleman and she could still love you but never portray a gentleman when in truth you are just a douche bag, a woman likes to know what she is buying even before she starts bargaining, otherwise she would quickly dispose of it like it never really existed.

8. Do not snoop, you won’t find anything, worse if you do find anything you definitely will, not like it. Do not snoop, remember “never  look into a woman’s purse” I have no idea who said that though but it is true. Do not


Making it work is hardwork and it should be, but when you really want to make it work , you can!

HOW TO “NOT GET CAUGHT”: a guide on how to cheat (and not be cheated on) successfully

Notice: before you continue to read, take note.

This piece does not encourage cheating by any partner. If you want to cheat, be single.

This is neither a professional nor personal advice.

I would like you to take a deep breath, close your eyes and picture that person you love the most (if you are in a relationship with them already) or the person you would love to date. Your heart should skip a beat or something like that. In all honesty, it is only you who knows how that person makes you feel and why you want to be with them. So why is this article important? Well, because we are all human beings and we are all weaker than we would like to admit (male and female). The power of love has nothing to do with the passion and intensity of lust at its peak.

So may be, once or twice you have decided to put your hands into someone else cookie jar and it still did not diminish your love for your partner (if that is ever possible) and you find yourself always going back to have a taste of that forbidden fruit. You begin to invest in this affair in more than one way, how do you preserve your love for your “real” partner till you figure out how to overcome your basal needs and return to the arms of your one true love? How do you keep the flame of this affair burning till it burns out and you can run back to the arms of your partner without any guilt?

There is no short cut. If there is no guilt, there is no love. Now, the other question is can you live with the guilt? I will skip through all the personal karma and what nots and go straight to how to appear like an angel to your partner even when you are still cheating on them (not professional or personal).

The techniques discussed below would be most effective if you and your partner do not live in the same house.

1.       Reserve energy. No matter how intense the flames of desire burns, do not and I repeat, do not invest much energy in it. Always have a reserve so as not to get attached to this said fling and also to avoid the error of “I am tired, I am exhausted or I am not in the mood”. These words are a red flag, and show you have been ploughing in someone else farm. Try not to go overboard in trying to woo or impress a fling. Do not buy gifts for them or a new cloth for yourself when it is not a festive season. Never fix 2 dates on the same day or at the same venue.

2.       Information. Always let your partner know your whereabouts. If you want to go to a hotel tell your partner what hotel you are going to. Always keep the communication channel open and never let them have a feeling that you are hiding something. Do not be discreet. Reveal as much as you can but enough to douse any doubt or extinguish suspicion.

3.       Alibi. When you cheat, you have to lie, so if you want to lie, do not just tell a lie, live a lie. Get yourself an alibi that holds and you will enjoy your affair with no iota of guilt. So as not to overdo it, here is a tip. Do not let all your alibi be perfect, let your partner catch you on some occasions. A lesser evil than what you are into could suffice and still make you look human. A drink with the boys, a shopping spree, a night of partying, anything but the truth. If it is always work and business, that also is a red flag.

4.       Memory. Never forget anything, especially not to the detriment of your “real” relationship. Dates, venues and time. Names of alibi must always check and be easy to remember. Write it down if you must in a diary for quick reference. A good way to never forget is to keep it simple.

5.       Deny. This is the last technique as handed down for many years. As a popular 90’s song goes “it wasn’t me”. If you have carried out the above techniques well, you won’t have to resort to this except if your partner works for the CIA , like Schwarznegger did in true lies or in the movie unfaithful where Richard Gere hires a private detective  to follow his wife around. In that case, even the “deny” skill won’t help you.

Once you get caught, you have to weigh your options and choose wisely for yourself the lesser evil or punishment, or just live with the consequences. Why did you engage in the affair in the first place? (Sorry! Judgemental me again).

This information is both educative (I guess) and revealing. If you follow the techniques backwards, you would be able to find out if your partner is cheating on you or not. As I have said before, all men are not cheats or dogs and all ladies are not sluts, but just to be sure you are protected, know these techniques and watch for the signs that he or she puts out there intentionally to mislead you. Did I hear litmus test? No! There is no litmus test, a cheat is slippery and slimy and difficult to catch and sometimes you just have to go with your gut feeling.  Most importantly try and not be too paranoid. Know your worth and invest in a good relationship. No one deserves to be on the receiving end of a heartbreak caused by an unfaithful partner.

 The only way not to get caught is not to commit...

Don't Impress Her

That doesn’t sound right, does it? Why shouldn’t she be impressed or why shouldn’t I impress her? Is it that she isn’t worth it? Well it is quite simple. Women are not created to be impressed. They could be impressed by the weirdest stuff that could ever exist. Yes! Most are impressed by material things and a show of wealth and affluence and confidence and all the beautiful things of life, a trip in a private jet to Paris and then to the exquisite island of Bali and a chauffeur driven limo to Buckingham palace to dine with the queen and then to the grand canyon in a hot air balloon. She will be impressed by all these and even more if you are a baddass like Tom Cruise in mission impossible or Bruce Willis in die hard but the truth is if that is not what you are you have just wasted resources and time. Will she be impressed with a white collar job? A routine life? Family? Well there is only one way to find out. Women want to be impressed, most times they would gratify you for impressing them or inflate your ego but along comes a more impressive ‘fella’ and more impressive stunts and there goes your swag. So why shouldn’t you impress a lady. Except she is already yours then impressing her is just... how do I say this nicely, yeah! “very short term”. Most men would impress a lady just so they could... yeah! Sleep with her and it works most of the time. A brief show of affluence will get the lady looking impressively at you and start wondering how the almighty ‘you’ identified a mere human like her gorgeousness to catch her fancy, and the games begin, lies spring up and a relationship built on appearance is born which harms the society more than the 2 wrecked individuals. So if you want someone to impress, impress your spouse or at least your partner. Take her out to dinner on a Tuesday night, switch to Africa magic when your favourite football team is playing a live match, cook indomie and egg for her on Saturday morning, take her to the masseuse on Monday after work and let her know that you will not take her for granted.
It is not rocket science, at the same time nobody knows what a woman wants. Nobody, not even the women themselves know. It is complicated like that so I suggest we try to simplify it as much as we can. Things have changed and the human specie has evolved on a very large scale on the deception front, so when it is obvious that you are trying to impress a damsel, it could send the wrong “short term” signal to her. Women sense these things and are more impressed nonetheless when you don’t make it your duty to sweep her off her feet. She could like a person for the strangest reason and I am not referring to the superficial broads who just want to play dress-up all their life. A real lady would love you for just being you and not for doing things that are not you. 
If you are still trying to woo her, it is very simple. Be yourself. Everyone will not date a model or the hottest chick or the daughter of Aliko or Fashola. It’s just one person for each of those girls and to be honest there are a lot of beautiful girls out there just waiting to be loved for who they are. So why kill your pocket over the girl you may not get? Or let’s assume you get her, she has so much baggage than you can handle.
I may sound ‘old school’, but that’s the true way of doing things. And when you find that lady you should impress, impress the shit out of her and as I said, let her feel that you are indeed worth waiting for. It is not a race so there is no rush. Do not impress her before you need to impress her.  The only way to impress her before you get her to be your woman would be to love her; you would look very foolish doing that but that is only if you truly love her.