SINCERELY WRITING!

It is from the depth of my heart, and filled with utmost respect, that I decide to bare my soul, for no man ever made a mark by being someone else. I want to be among the greats of the world, a mind that would be so envied that even I would stand in awe in heaven and thank God for a life well spent. I can only be the best that ‘I’ can be and that’s not to say that an ‘ok’ me is not good enough but, come to think of it, good was not good enough that’s why better came along only to be ‘bested’ by the best. I feel I am still young and that the full potentials of this mind are yet to be attained. I came across a saying sometime ago, ‘if it isn’t fun, don’t do it’, and I ask is my life fun? I know we all have heard about life not being a bed of roses and all that and we have come to accept it, we have accepted that we live in a world filled with limitations and disappointments, many of us even take a pessimistic view on life in general. ‘What good can come out of Bethlehem?’ I do know that salvation came from there and to many other pessimistic questions, why this? Why that? Well, why not? Life is not all about being perfect or working towards perfection because the perfection we so seek and desire is viewed through an imperfect lens, clouded by dishonesty, corruption, violence. It seems so easy to point out our imperfections and that of the world than to appreciate the wonders of our creation. And as my thoughts drift in and out of crazy and wonderful ideas, I wonder, am I the only person with such a mind? Of course not, and the greatest of such minds may as well not have been born but the propagation of our species over the years have led us to believe that it is the fittest that survive. I do not know much and indeed all that’s left to be known far surpasses what we know now, so the boundaries we have created for ourselves are willfully and eventually torn down to open a new horizon, a world of endless possibilities and I can assure myself first that this world is just around the corner. Our differences aside, we all are creatures of order, peace, unity and growth. It is all embedded in our genetic make up to be orderly and even in the midst of the external forces of chaos, we all so long for the peace from within, that shining light that re-assures us that we are not just matter that exist to occupy space but are the beings that BE. Love is magical, love is precious, and love is universal. We all want to love and be loved in return, so why don’t we just love? It always comes back to us…

COMING SOON!

SO, WAS THAT YOU?



I looked through the window of my little shelter, rain drops still scattered sparingly on the partly cemented floor. I felt like going out this evening but where would I go? At times like this I wished I smoked or indulged in some kind of social activity that would enable me just go out on my own and not be seen as a loner. Of course I am not a loner, I have a lot of friends and numerous acquaintances, but just this time I felt I should be alone. I was not depressed but was in a very reflective and sober mood. ‘I need a retreat’, I thought to my self the previous day but now I needed to go out. What shall I do with my freedom again? This new freedom I have been blessed with. I vowed not to make the same mistakes I made with my previous freedoms; in boarding school, in the university, in youth service camp. No! Not the same mistakes. I had to make a responsible use of my life for now and from now on. I knew I was in no hurry to settle down and, thank goodness I was under no form of pressure, at least for the moment. My whole life, like a clean slate lay in front of me and I made an oath to write on it with as few mistakes and less grave ones at that. This retreat of mine would usher me from young man to ‘elderly, respected young citizen’. All my dreams, aspirations, my future looked and felt brighter. What could possibly go wrong now? All I have to do is make use of all my past mistakes and make my present life and the imminent future, something to look forward to. I, Toby would shock the world, in a good way, and I intend to rule the world! As for my past, lets hope it does not come up too often in any discussions, let sleeping dogs lie, although I would prefer DIE, but you know what they say, kill the past, kill the future. That’s me, my past and hopefully a future you all will envy and talk about for years to come.


*** EXCERPTS FROM ‘THE TALE OF HISTORY’
A BOOK BY Uche Onuma© 2010

Yeah! We Are Back

Its feels good to be back, even if it is for a short while.
A lot of water has indeed passed under the bridge but I’ll try to be constructive. Some words that are passing through my mind right about now… "trust", "friendship", "love", "loyalty", "disappointment", "depression", a lot of emotions!now but no tears not from me, not for now and not ever. There is nothing better than knowing something and knowing it well more so nothing like clarity. No vagueness or ambiguity. I personally love to be vague but can’t seem to like others been vague to me. I want you to tell me as it is, up front and right in my face. I love honesty even if I know it is not expected from everybody but nobody said it’s futile to at least expect sometimes. All I want is for someone to tell me honestly what they think and I will be satisfied, but who would that be?
Its not you definitely! You wouldn’t do me the favor; you would not want to hurt my feelings, would you? So much for friendship and trust. Ironic! Isn’t it? That you would feel that I can’t handle the truth. Well I am not talking about me hear or what I have done or even what I expect, it is more like what I feel. Ok! I feel everyone or almost everyone is lying, in one way or the other.
My sister told me once to be more expressive, sounds easy but it sure as hell isn’t. It’s much safer to be on the fence but even there, the stones continue to fly by. I’d stop fro now because I don’t know if you are ever going to read this so if you get to read this, I’m sure you would not understand