THE PROBLEMS MEN HAVE WITH FEMALES

I am quite sure you must have seen the write up on how all women's problems begins with “men”, the menstruation, menopause and mental problem bit. Well men also have loads of problems with women though the problems don’t begin with women as prefix. The problems men have with women are rather obvious and men being men will not whine about it, at least not in public or in her presence. Here are just a few, from when she is born till well into her womanhood.

1. Tears. Female babies cry and don’t stop crying till they are fully grown. They shed tears for everything. I hadn’t heard of “tears of joy” or “crocodile tears” till I met a woman. We do not like to see or make you cry but ladies, please stop using it as a means to blackmail the male folk. It works sometimes but we are building an immunity towards it.
2. Puberty. You know how guys and girls play hide and seek as kids? well, all that stops once she hits puberty. Most girls just lose all sense of courtesy and respect for the elder men in their neighbourhood once they start getting the curves and the hips starts swaying (by force or by nature).  We enjoy the transition and thank the good Lord for the curves, but do not throw the manners and respect out too. 
3. Sex. Yes! Men admit it all the time, we love sex. We love sex with women and during the act most men are made to believe that women also enjoy sex. Why then do females tend to use sex as a reward for a man’s “good behaviour”? Some would even argue that women could actually enjoy sex more than men (I doubt that). Now sex is used by women to manipulate a lot of innocent young men.
4. Colours and taste. Men are simple creatures, we like blue shirts and brown chinos pants, we like cola flavoured beverages and alcohol. When it comes to colours, science even admits that most men are colour blind. It is in our nature to blend all shades of grey, or blue or pink to be the same colour, no aqua blue or fuchsia pink or stuff like that. It is blue or pink as far as we are concerned.
5. Periods. Most men would agree that when it is that time of the month for their ladies, they go through hell. First it is PMS and mood swings which are often erratic and sometimes violent, then the blood. These would be a good time to go on vacation for men who can afford it but that would be INSENSITIVE. For 5 plus days, men are guaranteed a “no action” period(this has changed), no matter how horny the man may be. The only good thing about periods (for single men and couples who are not ready for children) is that it confirms that the lady is not pregnant.
6. Power. When a woman is in a position of power , the world will know. Power intoxicates men but what it does to women is yet to be described. It is like a volcanic eruption from a valley. We know women are as good at leadership as men, some may even argue that women are better leaders, but is all the power associated drama necessary?
7. Driving. Men simply have a problem with women driving.
These are just a few, but we know you ladies are not perfect and we love you nonetheless, however, we would love you to whine a little less about how we are the cause of global warming and fuel scarcity in the world. We will squeeze the toothpaste tube from the sealed end and raise the toilet seat before we urinate as a sign of our love. Football and hanging out with the boys will however, still go on for a long time to come.

START STOPPING: the oxymoron of the season.

As opposed to “stop starting” which is for quitters or those in the process of evaluation or re-evaluation, start stopping would be seen to be a more positive venture into the gradual cessation of a habit or vice. 
Vices, we all have one or more. The reason for having a vice could differ with individuals but at some point, one may choose to stop or desist from a particular vice, either temporarily or on a more permanent base when the senses are functioning to their full capacity. I encountered a young man recently who claimed to have all the major vices of an ordinary man, drugs, alcohol cigarettes, women (sex) and the life of the party even when he could not afford it. He asked me to choose a vice for him, one which he would not give up because as he said “every man needs a vice”. He asked for my opinion and I gave it to him and then I asked myself, “What vices do I have?”, and more importantly, “what vices should I give up?”. Many people around the world during this season of lent will seek a vice to do without and many people (cynics and critics) would argue the essence of dropping the said vices and habits during lent only to relapse and go back to them after Easter. Why give up alcohol or smoking, sex or any other bad habit for 40 plus days only to be seen repeating them sometime after Easter? Some would dare to question, “who are you deceiving?”. Well, the answers would vary as to why you or anyone else should stop a habit for a period of 40 plus days especially during lent as the church would encourage her members to do and these answers would suit people differently but one essence of the period of lent is simply to start stopping these vices, dropping them one by one and gradually till the addiction and allure of such vices no longer ensnare the perpetrators.
Sometimes, starting is the hardest aspect and the vices seem bigger than they actually are because we are so used to living with them that we can’t imagine living without them. The trick is, as we all are in the period of dropping vices, together we start stopping and get strength, not only from within but from seeing others in the same struggle with vices and giving as good as they got to stop.
It will be gradual and painful but let the season be one where we start stopping our vices and long after the period of lent keep on stopping whatever vices till we have overcome them or it as the case may be.