unorthordox apology

The complexity of a single individual very many deny but it lies within the confines of nomenclature. The duality or even multiplicity of the one person makes it difficult to completely harness more or less control and with the ever growing rave of ‘the illuminati’ and the ‘new world order’, the chaos is indeed frightening bothering close and rather to close to dementia and a major psychotic case yet to be clinically studied.
I have my own complexities which I battle with because I sincerely believe in simplicity. The clarity of a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ paints a clearer picture than a still life photograph. Only if actions could be more blatant and direct and still at the same time reflect the true intentions of the ever evolving and developing mind.
All these jargon, I leave for the psycho analyst to try and make sense of, but for you the regular (no offence) human, I will try to communicate in a more basic manner.
Mistakes! The bane of our education and the mother of many an excuse such as incompetence and misunderstanding. Yes misunderstandings which we do not fore see and the consequences which envelope us and make us look a lot dumber than we actually are or than we want to be seen.
I will like to apologize fervently to you for the hardship you must be going through right now trying to figure out what this is all about but I tell you my absence has been for a reason not to sound but a reason all the same and the loves lost and found (and some lost again) during this period have created a turmoil which time is actually finding difficult to settle.
In simple words, the mind is bubbling over with emotions from the long absence and a little (or maybe more) time is needed to gather some direction.
At last, a man is coming of age and taking responsibility for actions becomes a duty along with fending for himself and those he holds dear. Forget the battle for self preservation because this is a rather content man, (or so he would like you to believe), the only battle is the battle for survival and territory and the acquisition of new frontiers now, a hobby for the already existing elite must be a target attainable by careful and detailed planning. A problem arises, he is no planner or one to fret about details, he loves results though so the means is no problem to him and here lies the problem as this man still has a really active conscience and the only thing he cherishes more than love is the peace of mind he gets when his conscience finds no fault in his dealings with other terrestrials (and sometimes extra-terrestrials).
He craves success more than happiness sometimes because in success he finds happiness, even if only momentarily. He has a weakness as all other great men before him and his mortality threatens to undermine the invisibility he has garnered over time. His fears take a new shape and start dictating for his mind, he needs a new motivation and a source of inspiration. He, like a weathered petal is on the brink of falling to the dust and facing the wrath of oblivion. He smiles and looks upon his one and only true love and realizes what his whole existence has been about. If this does not happen, if the great fall does not occur, his story will be told to little ones as a fable or a fairy tale, his is what legend is made of and the tale, as such, be told. That is the success he craves and that is the fall that precedes it. Not calculated but spontaneous
He is a man…. A man on the move. A man in search, in search of the strongest gift.
If he finds it, only time will tell but the nature within him must be conquered and the energy from within must flow.


I am deeply sorry for my nature and I regret not warning you.
I hope you find what you are looking for, I don’t have it with me.
I did not set out to hurt you, but hurting you became inevitable.
Your nature and mine hold equal responsibility, but my actions deserve and take full blame.