HOW TO AVOID BEING "YABBED" BY YOUR PEERS

Yab (slang): (v) making jest or fun of someone usually in a fun way e.g. basket mouth can yab. 
The art of yabbing has being a source of social integration among men so much so it stands as a ritual of some sort for recruiting or initiating strangers into the league of friends. Among men who have known each other for a while, this is very common. Men, unlike females do not take offence when being insulted by their peers especially in  a social and friendly gathering, this makes yabbing acceptable but it could be a problem when what they say seems more believable and it starts happening too often. The irony of yabbing is that any thing or person can be used to yab you. Your girlfriend, job, body feature, failures or even success can be used to yab.Yabbing is a part of most conversations involving young men and is often restricted to ‘members’ of the park. The fact remains that to survive in these circles of friendship you have to grow some sort of thick skin towards these harsh words thrown your way. Most would liken yabbing to psychological bullying among grown men. To completely avoid it is often impossible and could result in ‘expulsion’ from the park or a general coldness of your men towards you and violent attacks or physical assault is often punished by a group beating. In these sceneries, the weakest or smallest member of the park yabs a much bigger friend to the point of infuriating him and he loses his cool and wants to attack this minnow who has defeated him in a simple mind and word game. This stage is usually nipped by other members and a brief moment of reflection commences before the routine yabs begin again. However, to avoid being the yabbed most, here are a few tips.
1.Silence is not key. Keeping quiet in these situations doesn’t help much. Its like being in a boxing ring and just resort to receiving all the punches your opponent throws at you.
2.Evade as much as possible, look for other members who are worse than yourself with respect to the topic of the yab or can be potential prey for the next line of attack.
3.Laugh out loudest. This would throw your attacker of balance for a short period while others would be shocked and join in in the laughter session
4.Yab yourself first. This is the oldest trick in the book. If you use your flaws against yourself, no one will be able to use it against you.
5.Make sure your retorts and response and short and direct and as much as possible more hilarious than that of your attacker, you would have scored more points using fewer seconds to yab than to spend a whole minute and ending up with a dry joke. Be mean, aggressive and merciless when responding, if need be, hit below the belt. This is not a fair game so don’t play fair. Include words like "thick" and "hefty" to buttress your point.
6.When you notice everyone is on your case, escape, excuse yourself and take a breather. By the time you return, the attention would be on something or someone else
7.When such gatherings are anticipated, encourage your friends to come with their girlfriends or spouses, men tend to behave better in the presence of their significant other. You would encourage a yab free gathering, especially when you have no aces up your sleeve or you are just not good at yabbing others.
8.Observe all your friends closely and take notes, exaggerate their flaws and mimic them in the worst possible way and that way your yabs would hit home faster. Be graphic and explicit.
9.Blend in with the lead yabber at any point, side with the winning team, if they are not your favorite person, when you attack, it is sure to penetrate deeper and be as shocking as any surprise attack.
10.Finally, do not take a yab personal. It’s just fun and if you can’t handle it, it doesn’t make you any less of a man. If you don’t want to be yabbed, do not yab others (or laugh when others are yabbed).
Till the next we meet on “HOW TO”, stay yab free and happy.